Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Mr. Google who are you?

In response to my Gchat tag line "I love you google", I have recently been contacted by "someone" who claims they are the god like Mr. G00gle. I have no idea who this person is however, "his" e-mails are quite funny.

On a side note, you would think the supreme of search engines would know how to spell right? Typos and spelling mistakes have NOT been corrected :). See below.

MR. G00GLE to me 10:03 AM (1 hour ago)

i love you too, valerie. i love you too.

MR. G00GLE to me 10:22 AM (1 hour ago)

i am google, valerie. i am every search you have ever conducted. i am every image you have ever found (if you've searched through my images section). i am the emails you send and the chats you receive. i am your contacts list. i am your trash section. i am ALL.

listen valerie: quite frankly i am flattered by the love you proclaim for me on your gchat (me) status message. but honestly, i got like 1,239,871,293,786,129,837,619,237,912,739,812,739,817,239,871,293,871,923,879,128,376.75 different people who are also up on my shit (if you know what i mean). so, in order not to make anybody jealous, what say we keep this little love affair between us, eh? it'll be our little secret.

incidently, if you search me for "our little secret" the first page that comes up is the Amazon link to the 1997 Lords of Acid album of the same name. you may want to look into that.

now excuse me while i go help the rest of the universe find what they are looking for. goodbye valerie. have a wonderful day.

MR. G00GLE to me 11:03 AM (55 minutes ago)

are.....are you serious??

i like. i like totally JUST revealed my true identity to you in my last email.

anyway, i hope you conducted that last search i told you about. remember? the one about "our little secret?" anyway, if you looked up that Lords of Acid CD you'd see that the most popular track is called "spank my booty."

further, i'd like to point out that if you search me for "who are you?" you will get back 273,000,000 results in under 2.2 seconds. impressive, huh? anyway, you can choose one of those results and decide that that is who i am.

in conclusion, WHO THE FUCK IS THAT OTHER GUY WHO LOVES YOU?????? i thought we had something, valerie. i thought we had something reeeaaallll special. UGH. i'm so OUT.

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