this is what we do at work during the day.

Krissy: i am being so useless
Krissy: and just looking at clothes online
Krissy: but i need a dress for a wedding in nov
Me: i have to potty
Me: that's my contribution to this conversation
Krissy: haha

Jess: Ugh...I have no desire to be productive today.
me: i have no desire to ever be productive
hahahahaha
is that bad?
Jess: Yes...we're pathetic.

Phobia?

Japanda5 (10:59:32 AM): i was just diagnosed yesterday with Phobiaphobia
valer0us (10:59:36 AM): what's that?
Japanda5 (10:59:42 AM): i'm afraid of phobias
Japanda5 (10:59:55 AM): oh me.
Japanda5 (10:59:56 AM): lol

Dinosaur?

Al-Amin: my phone is NOT a dinosaur, i'll have you know
Sent at 2:03 PM on Thursday
Al-Amin: it's actually an extremely efficient device that relays my calls and text messages like a PHONE should. what you people use, i call mobile crack devices. because they don't really have everything you need, they just make you THINK you do, and then what happens? you're all about your little crackberries, and people like me, who like to keep things simple, get called dinosaurs.
me: lolol
very well put
and true
Al-Amin: well i love my dinosaur
and i'm a retro kinda guy
so you're a loser

can't read?

valer0us (2:17:06 PM): did u know u can't use the internet if u can't read?
valer0us (2:17:09 PM): it's really hard
Krissy0344 (2:25:14 PM): that stinks

Cat poo?!

me: she misses the box or it's stuck in her bum
i think this morning she did it on purpose tho
b.c there was a HUGE turd on the floor
and it wasn't mine...
Emily: HAHAHAHA
are you SURE it wasnt yours???
just kidding

Hipster, Yipster?

Japanda5: we should have a facebook pic of us "going over the "pickup lines for hipster chicks" via Excel Spreadsheet.

Mr. Google who are you?

In response to my Gchat tag line "I love you google", I have recently been contacted by "someone" who claims they are the god like Mr. G00gle. I have no idea who this person is however, "his" e-mails are quite funny.

On a side note, you would think the supreme of search engines would know how to spell right? Typos and spelling mistakes have NOT been corrected :). See below.

MR. G00GLE to me 10:03 AM (1 hour ago)

i love you too, valerie. i love you too.

MR. G00GLE to me 10:22 AM (1 hour ago)


i am google, valerie. i am every search you have ever conducted. i am every image you have ever found (if you've searched through my images section). i am the emails you send and the chats you receive. i am your contacts list. i am your trash section. i am ALL.

listen valerie: quite frankly i am flattered by the love you proclaim for me on your gchat (me) status message. but honestly, i got like 1,239,871,293,786,129,837,619,237,912,739,812,739,817,239,871,293,871,923,879,128,376.75 different people who are also up on my shit (if you know what i mean). so, in order not to make anybody jealous, what say we keep this little love affair between us, eh? it'll be our little secret.

incidently, if you search me for "our little secret" the first page that comes up is the Amazon link to the 1997 Lords of Acid album of the same name. you may want to look into that.


now excuse me while i go help the rest of the universe find what they are looking for. goodbye valerie. have a wonderful day.

MR. G00GLE to me 11:03 AM (55 minutes ago)

are.....are you serious??

i like. i like totally JUST revealed my true identity to you in my last email.

anyway, i hope you conducted that last search i told you about. remember? the one about "our little secret?" anyway, if you looked up that Lords of Acid CD you'd see that the most popular track is called "spank my booty."

further, i'd like to point out that if you search me for "who are you?" you will get back 273,000,000 results in under 2.2 seconds. impressive, huh? anyway, you can choose one of those results and decide that that is who i am.

in conclusion, WHO THE FUCK IS THAT OTHER GUY WHO LOVES YOU?????? i thought we had something, valerie. i thought we had something reeeaaallll special. UGH. i'm so OUT.

lunch anyone?

but the way it's looking, i'll probably have to bring lunch back to my cubicle....
cuz i'm cool like that

on the specifics of friending on social networking sites...

Jade: wierdo, FB isn't a place for friend whores
me: haha
Jade: go back to myspace!

I guess they're running out of names...

Really? They couldn't come up with something better? lol.

comments on NYC Night Life.

ok... i'm not talking beer-stinking-we'll-support-new-york-wannabes-who-are-still-in-college bars

underdog lounges where i can listen to good music, and have space to at least lift my drink up to my mouth without having it spill on my shirt, and on 5 other people around me

psshh... campus.

please, woman... relax yo'self